As I Think

I can't deny my reality and who I am. It is foolish of me to look away from the mirror and think that I have another face. My desires tug at my heart and distract my mind from the everyday. I eat my dreams and vomit words that muck up my life. I stand baffled before the table as I look at the mess I made in search for meaning that isn't there. It's the curse of scarcity. It is the impure thoughts that dwell at the edge of reality and taunt me. Calling my name as if it were its own. I challenge myself to see the light outside of the window and behind the clouds. I cling to my loss as if it would save me. I hold on to lies I tell myself instead of stepping into my life as the one who dictates my choices. I'm bound in my selfish desires. My heart and mind will contend for the rest of my life as my soul feels the pull to find something better.