A Bit Depressed

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as sadness gripped me. No real reason to cry.

Maybe it was loneliness.
Maybe it was feelings of worthlessness,
but not matter what it was, there was a sense of nothing.

A lack of self.

A being sitting and breathing in a hollowed out space in time.
Surrounded and yet isolated.
A part of something and yet disconnected.
Such is life, never connected at all points.

In this emptiness, I wait for a time when I will smile again. Perhaps I should allow the tears to come and break me free from the darkness that drains me.

I long for the sun to shine.

Just a few more hours until the light breaks and there is dawn. (1/21/2020)

I want to empty my emotions onto paper. I want tears to fall until my soul feels light, but I suppress the feelings. I fear as though my weaknesses might overtake me if I give in, but what foolishness! Cry and mourn the loss: Strength comes not from the holding in. I live because I exhale, because I express, because I am. 

(9/18/2020)