Endless (Updated and Original)
The world begins to spin as the alcohol warms my cheeks. The music in my ears drives me to fall deeper into my drink as the voices sing to a beat that grows on me. It is all foreign to me, but the beat pulsates in my ears and the voices draw me in.
The song plays off my fear of being alone and yet it somehow comforts me: the drums, the voices, the now rapid beating of my heart. I can feel my senses dulling to give way to my hearing. Everything in my body seeks to be one with the sound.
I grab my head in a primal desire to control my thoughts, entangling my fingers in my hair. The torture of my desires drives me to scream out and curl forward into myself, but the brief silence of the caesura in the music releases me into a fog. I’m unsure if this new world is real or imagined.
I find myself standing in a soft white nothingness looking down at golden bracelets that dimly sparkle in the diffused light. They are attached to elaborate, fine gold chains that run out in front of me to an unknown source as though they were forever in the process of being linked.
I feel oddly calm—perhaps it's the alcohol, or perhaps it's the instrumental music that still plays softly. I place each hand around the chain that is attached to it and hold the cold metal links tightly. I can feel the rhythm in my feet and hear the voices as they sing to me. I lean back into the music, giving in to my desire. The chains become taut and keep me from falling.
I flex my muscles to pull myself forward and straighten up, thinking that the song is already over, but the music crescendos. The chains follow the beat and tug back, first my right arm and then my left, forcing me to step forward with each tug. It would be easier if a puppeteer were forcing me to dance, but I freely give into the song and dance with the very thing that restrains me.
I fight with nothing as the chains and I move seamlessly. I throw my arms straight out to my side and upturn my hands in the bracelet. I then bring my arms in front of me and grab the chains, pulling myself forward, and hugging my hands and the links to my chest. I let go and run my hands up my neck and with my fingers spread, I cover my ears with the palms of my hands. I roll my head before throwing my hands out to my side again.
My movements become more staccato and I find it challenging to catch my breath. Sweat drips down my face and skin as I spin into the chains and desperately wrap myself in them and then unwrap myself as the rhythm moves me.
I unravel myself and for a second, I am paused with my arms to my side and the chains behind me. I throw my head back and arch my back with my chest to the unseen sky. The blood rushes to my head. When I stand back up, the dizziness overtakes me and I fall to my knees, breathless as the world spins around me.
The music plays off my fears and comforts me: the drums, the voices, the rapid beating of my heart. I can feel my senses dulling to give way to my hearing. Everything in my body seeks to be one with the sound.
I grab my head in a primal desire to control my thoughts. My fingers become entangled in my hair. The torture of my desires drives me to scream out and curl forward into myself, but the pause in the music releases me into a fog. I know not if it is real or imagined.
I look down to find golden bracelets around my wrists. They are chained to an unknown source in front of me and dimly sparkle in the diffused light.
I place each hand around the chain that is attached to it. I hold the cold metal links tightly and lean back into the music. The chains become taunt and keep me from falling.
I stand back up and pull on the chains. It feels as though they tug back and invite me to dance. I begin an elaborate dance with the very thing that restrains me.
I fight with nothing as I move seamlessly with the chains and yet I use all my strength. My breathing quickens and my body weakens.
Sweat drips down my face and skin as I spin into the chains and desperately wrap myself in them and then unwrap myself as the rhyme moves me.
With the source of the chains behind me, I place my arms in front of me and arch my back with my chest to the unseen sky. The blood rushes to my head.
I stand up and drop to my knees, breathless as the world spins around me.
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